HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I hope 2008 brings playoff hopes and World Series aspirations.
Love,
E-Train ya brain.
Monday, December 31, 2007
Saturday, December 22, 2007
Dear CWS,
Hello, Alexei Ramirez!
4.75 mil for four years... not bad.
Hopefully he'll turn out to be something.
If not... NO BIG DEAL.
I mean we're the fucking White Sox.
This shit happens all the time.
But it's cool. :)
LOVE,
Ya trade E-Train and ya trade ya brain
4.75 mil for four years... not bad.
Hopefully he'll turn out to be something.
If not... NO BIG DEAL.
I mean we're the fucking White Sox.
This shit happens all the time.
But it's cool. :)
LOVE,
Ya trade E-Train and ya trade ya brain
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Dear CWS,
Idk what I'm gonna do with myself next season.
I never thought I would be saying this, but I'm gonna miss a lot of you guys.
No more noodle arm Podsie Pan giving me a heart attack by actually throwing someone out. PODZILLA IS NO MORE.
No more Sir Whiffs A lot making me laugh by being so pathetic. Seriously, best thing about 2007 was him breaking his ankle WHIFFING at a pitch. Simple amazing.
No more Fishy, my Garfish, my husband, my SEXY BEAST.
No more making demeaning comments to Alex Cintron, he who looks like a chipmunk.
NO MORE DLP!!! If Uribe gets traded. Which I think is sorta likely. Which would mean no more lack of necks, JAZZ HANDS, and my main man.
(Hopefully) no more MIKE MCDOUGAL.
No more 38 year old virgin, Michael Myers. Actually that's not really a sad thing.
No more calling Danny Richar a roooook. <3
No more ONE HIT GUSTAVO. D=
Motherfucker I'm gonna have get these new bitches some nicknames.
LOVELOVELOVELOVELOVE
e to the train
I never thought I would be saying this, but I'm gonna miss a lot of you guys.
No more noodle arm Podsie Pan giving me a heart attack by actually throwing someone out. PODZILLA IS NO MORE.
No more Sir Whiffs A lot making me laugh by being so pathetic. Seriously, best thing about 2007 was him breaking his ankle WHIFFING at a pitch. Simple amazing.
No more Fishy, my Garfish, my husband, my SEXY BEAST.
No more making demeaning comments to Alex Cintron, he who looks like a chipmunk.
NO MORE DLP!!! If Uribe gets traded. Which I think is sorta likely. Which would mean no more lack of necks, JAZZ HANDS, and my main man.
(Hopefully) no more MIKE MCDOUGAL.
No more 38 year old virgin, Michael Myers. Actually that's not really a sad thing.
No more calling Danny Richar a roooook. <3
No more ONE HIT GUSTAVO. D=
Motherfucker I'm gonna have get these new bitches some nicknames.
LOVELOVELOVELOVELOVE
e to the train
Dear CWS,
Yeah so offseason's been... interesting?
Seriously, KW, what the hell.
We have no outfielders.
I admit, I don't think Torii Hunter was the answer... but still.
No Rowand no Jones, all we got is some random dude from the D-Backs.
Great.
Bye bye to Garfishy and Scotty Pods.
I love you both so very much.
Seriously I feel we're playing Survivor with the 2005 team.
Who will be last one voted off the island?!
Let's see who we got left.
Konerko
Uribe (probably not for long)
Crede (also a big possibility)
Jenks
Ozuna
Buehrle
Contreras (yikes)
And I think that's it.
Oh well.
IT'S ALL UP TO YOU SCOTT LINEBRINK. MVP.
LOVE,
E-train
Seriously, KW, what the hell.
We have no outfielders.
I admit, I don't think Torii Hunter was the answer... but still.
No Rowand no Jones, all we got is some random dude from the D-Backs.
Great.
Bye bye to Garfishy and Scotty Pods.
I love you both so very much.
Seriously I feel we're playing Survivor with the 2005 team.
Who will be last one voted off the island?!
Let's see who we got left.
Konerko
Uribe (probably not for long)
Crede (also a big possibility)
Jenks
Ozuna
Buehrle
Contreras (yikes)
And I think that's it.
Oh well.
IT'S ALL UP TO YOU SCOTT LINEBRINK. MVP.
LOVE,
E-train
Sunday, September 16, 2007
Dear CWS,
What has been up lately?
Beating the Angels for crying out loud!!!
AJ stole a base & caught a runner stealing in the SAME GAME!
Scotty Pods gunned someone down @ home plate!
BOBBY JENKS HAS A MOHAWK!
Sign of the apocolypse Y/N?
Also Half Way to St. Patrick's Day was the other day.
Which means green jerseys.
WHICH MEANS EHREN WASSERMANN LOOKS LIKE A LEPRECHAUN.
I mean more than he usually does @ least.
Love,
e.train
Beating the Angels for crying out loud!!!
AJ stole a base & caught a runner stealing in the SAME GAME!
Scotty Pods gunned someone down @ home plate!
BOBBY JENKS HAS A MOHAWK!
Sign of the apocolypse Y/N?
Also Half Way to St. Patrick's Day was the other day.
Which means green jerseys.
WHICH MEANS EHREN WASSERMANN LOOKS LIKE A LEPRECHAUN.
I mean more than he usually does @ least.
Love,
e.train
Dear Jim Thome,
CONGRATZ!!!!
I know I always say that KW needs to trade you, but deep down I know the Sox wouldn't be the same without you. NUMERO 500! WALK OFF STYLE! No possible way it could've been any better.
HRs by Joshua Fields & Dannnny Richar. I love newbs.
GOOD DAYYYYY.
Love,
E-Train
I know I always say that KW needs to trade you, but deep down I know the Sox wouldn't be the same without you. NUMERO 500! WALK OFF STYLE! No possible way it could've been any better.
HRs by Joshua Fields & Dannnny Richar. I love newbs.
GOOD DAYYYYY.
Love,
E-Train
Monday, September 10, 2007
Dear CWS,
It’s come to that time in the season (seeing as we’ve been mathematically eliminated since about June) that we say “THERE’S ALWAYS NEXT YEAR”. Haha just kidding, I’m not as lame as a Cubs fan.
But seriously. We’ve seen a lot of new guys this season and it’s about time we see who’s gonna be back for the ’08 season.
Let’s see who we got.
LANCE BROADWAY. Mr. Porn Star himself. With a name like that, we caaaan’t get rid of this guy! But really, haven’t seen enough to decide on this one.
MARK BUEHRLE. Duh.
RYAN BUKVICH. This one’s iffy. I think we can do better.
JOSE CONTRERAS. I don’t think it’s possible to get rid of this man. =/
JOHNNY DANKS. For sure. This little guy showed tons of potential this year.
GAVIN FLOYD. He’s really proved himself these last few starts. I’d hold on to him, I know he’s got talent.
JON GARLAND. Duh. It’s been tough since All-Star Break but he’ll be fine.
BOBBY JENKS. Duh!
BOONE LOGAN. No. He’s had plenty of chances. I still don’t understand why everyone seems to thinks he’s like fucking Jesus or something.
MIKEY McDOUGAL. HELL.TO.THE.NAW. You gotta drop him hard. Fifty Cent hard.
MIKEY MYERS. NO. OLD PEOPLE GO HOME.
HEATH PHILLIPS. Haven’t seen the kid enough.
MATT THORNTON. Sure. He’s proven he’s worth it.
JAVIER BASS QUIZ. Love him! <3
EHREN WAS HER MAN. Also love him! <3
TOBY HALL. No thank you.
AJ PIERZYNSKI. Of course.
CINTRON. NO.
FIELDS. YES. He’s not the greatest, but he’s getting there.
KONERKO. Duh.
RICHAR. He’s a good kid. Gotta keep him.
URIBE. This is a tough one. If there’s any possible way we can find another shortstop in the off season, I say drop him. Otherwise I guess we don’t have any other choice.
DYE. Yes ma’am.
ERSTAD/PODSEDNIK. I don’t know. I guess keep probably one of them.
GONZALEZ. No!
TERRERO. He makes me laugh.
THOME. This one kills me. But I guess keep him. =/
DANNY STOP DOING NAUGHTY THINGS WITH YOUR BAT!!!!
Love,
E-TRAIN
But seriously. We’ve seen a lot of new guys this season and it’s about time we see who’s gonna be back for the ’08 season.
Let’s see who we got.
LANCE BROADWAY. Mr. Porn Star himself. With a name like that, we caaaan’t get rid of this guy! But really, haven’t seen enough to decide on this one.
MARK BUEHRLE. Duh.
RYAN BUKVICH. This one’s iffy. I think we can do better.
JOSE CONTRERAS. I don’t think it’s possible to get rid of this man. =/
JOHNNY DANKS. For sure. This little guy showed tons of potential this year.
GAVIN FLOYD. He’s really proved himself these last few starts. I’d hold on to him, I know he’s got talent.
JON GARLAND. Duh. It’s been tough since All-Star Break but he’ll be fine.
BOBBY JENKS. Duh!
BOONE LOGAN. No. He’s had plenty of chances. I still don’t understand why everyone seems to thinks he’s like fucking Jesus or something.
MIKEY McDOUGAL. HELL.TO.THE.NAW. You gotta drop him hard. Fifty Cent hard.
MIKEY MYERS. NO. OLD PEOPLE GO HOME.
HEATH PHILLIPS. Haven’t seen the kid enough.
MATT THORNTON. Sure. He’s proven he’s worth it.
JAVIER BASS QUIZ. Love him! <3
EHREN WAS HER MAN. Also love him! <3
TOBY HALL. No thank you.
AJ PIERZYNSKI. Of course.
CINTRON. NO.
FIELDS. YES. He’s not the greatest, but he’s getting there.
KONERKO. Duh.
RICHAR. He’s a good kid. Gotta keep him.
URIBE. This is a tough one. If there’s any possible way we can find another shortstop in the off season, I say drop him. Otherwise I guess we don’t have any other choice.
DYE. Yes ma’am.
ERSTAD/PODSEDNIK. I don’t know. I guess keep probably one of them.
GONZALEZ. No!
TERRERO. He makes me laugh.
THOME. This one kills me. But I guess keep him. =/
DANNY STOP DOING NAUGHTY THINGS WITH YOUR BAT!!!!
Love,
E-TRAIN
Dear CWS,
Yeah. That Twins series.
Pretty awesome.
You guys kill me.
Absolutely KILL ME.
Homerun by Uribe in the the 2nd.
Homerun by Cintron in the 7th.
Every single time Alex Cintron comes up to bat, I make some demeaning comment about him and then he hits a homerun. Maybe I should try this with everyone. Hm.
Top of the 9th. Minnesota decides to have a party with our pitchers and score SIX RUNS.
Bottom of the 9th. The boys decide to stop playing shit and score SOX RUNS. Right back at cha JUSTIN MORNEAU. Cintron, Richar, and Big Lead Louie (long time no see buddy, did you get fatter?) all got on base and Hot Wheels Fields let one rip for a double. Thome HR! 496! Sir Whiffs A Lot you surprise me so! Ground rule double scoring the Podzilla.
Decent pitching by six inning Javy.
Not terrible pitching by the 38 Year Old Virgin Mikey Myers.
Bitch ass pitching by Mikey McD and Boone Lagoon. Which somehow does not surprise me.
Good pitching by Lance Broadway who sounds like a porn star. And very well could be for all we know.
Nice pitching by Bobby Jenks.
Top of the 13th and Heath motherfucking looks like a mini Bobby Jenks Phillips picks off Nick Punto #2 (aka Michael Cuddyer). LMAO. Nicely played, rook.
So yeah I was getting pretty tired and then AJ decided to get me a hit scoring Louie The Terror Terrero in the bottom of the 13th.
I like how they were all jumping all over each other like they won the fucking World Series. AHAHA. And the DLP was giving each other piggyback rides which was hilarious.
Game number two.
Didn’t watch.
Bottom of the first back to back HRs by Jimmy (497!) and Paulie.
Nice hitting by Jer Bear.
WTF. Apparently Toby Triple Chin Hall got a homerun. Wow.
Matty got the save.
Nice.
GAME THREE.
Johan. Not much else to say.
Thome hit 498.
Josh Fields pulled an Aaron Rowand and got a face full of the outfield wall. And of course he was nowhere near the ball. Because he is Joshua Fields. “I HATE LEFT FIELD”.
TODAY.
HAHAHA.
#1. I never noticed but they play Austin Powers music when Mikey Myers comes out to pitch. Funny.
#2. Yay for throwing errors.
#3. AJ STOLE A BASE. LMFAO.
#4. Big Game Gavin pitched particularly well. 5 hits and 0 earned runs in 6.1 innings. Niiiiice.
#5. Game’s not over yet, but who really cares. Haha.
LOVE,
E-TRAIN
Pretty awesome.
You guys kill me.
Absolutely KILL ME.
Homerun by Uribe in the the 2nd.
Homerun by Cintron in the 7th.
Every single time Alex Cintron comes up to bat, I make some demeaning comment about him and then he hits a homerun. Maybe I should try this with everyone. Hm.
Top of the 9th. Minnesota decides to have a party with our pitchers and score SIX RUNS.
Bottom of the 9th. The boys decide to stop playing shit and score SOX RUNS. Right back at cha JUSTIN MORNEAU. Cintron, Richar, and Big Lead Louie (long time no see buddy, did you get fatter?) all got on base and Hot Wheels Fields let one rip for a double. Thome HR! 496! Sir Whiffs A Lot you surprise me so! Ground rule double scoring the Podzilla.
Decent pitching by six inning Javy.
Not terrible pitching by the 38 Year Old Virgin Mikey Myers.
Bitch ass pitching by Mikey McD and Boone Lagoon. Which somehow does not surprise me.
Good pitching by Lance Broadway who sounds like a porn star. And very well could be for all we know.
Nice pitching by Bobby Jenks.
Top of the 13th and Heath motherfucking looks like a mini Bobby Jenks Phillips picks off Nick Punto #2 (aka Michael Cuddyer). LMAO. Nicely played, rook.
So yeah I was getting pretty tired and then AJ decided to get me a hit scoring Louie The Terror Terrero in the bottom of the 13th.
I like how they were all jumping all over each other like they won the fucking World Series. AHAHA. And the DLP was giving each other piggyback rides which was hilarious.
Game number two.
Didn’t watch.
Bottom of the first back to back HRs by Jimmy (497!) and Paulie.
Nice hitting by Jer Bear.
WTF. Apparently Toby Triple Chin Hall got a homerun. Wow.
Matty got the save.
Nice.
GAME THREE.
Johan. Not much else to say.
Thome hit 498.
Josh Fields pulled an Aaron Rowand and got a face full of the outfield wall. And of course he was nowhere near the ball. Because he is Joshua Fields. “I HATE LEFT FIELD”.
TODAY.
HAHAHA.
#1. I never noticed but they play Austin Powers music when Mikey Myers comes out to pitch. Funny.
#2. Yay for throwing errors.
#3. AJ STOLE A BASE. LMFAO.
#4. Big Game Gavin pitched particularly well. 5 hits and 0 earned runs in 6.1 innings. Niiiiice.
#5. Game’s not over yet, but who really cares. Haha.
LOVE,
E-TRAIN
Sunday, September 2, 2007
Dear CWS,
Long time no write, eh?
Sorry, an eleven game losing streak can do that to ya.
So puhleeeeeeease tell me why we cannot play like this everyday?!
I mean seriously! I know you are all capable of playing as well as you did today! GAHHHH! That's why this season has been so frustrating. We're not bad because there is no talent. We're bad because there is no HEART on this team. /siiiiiigh
JOSE FUCKING CONTRERAS. HOLY MOTHER OF PEARL.
You officially won two starts in a ROW. Amazing.
6.2 IP, 4 Hits, 0 Runs, 5 Strikeouts!
Is this 2005 Jose we are seeing possibly?
Hmmm.
NEWB SOCIETY
JO Feasy. What a stud. 3 for 4 with 2RBI and 1 stolen base. Now THAT'S what I'm talking 'bout!
JF. Didn't play today. Got switched to LF though. It's ironic that with a name like Fields, Josh can't seem to field for shit. Hmmm.
Danny DLP. Looking better every day! 2 for 4 today. Atta boy.
THE REST
Thome. Gotta hold on to your bat, buddy! You almost decapitated the ump today. Trying to pull a Mike Redmond on him.
Paulie. Not bad.
Erstie. YOU CAN PUT IT ON THE BOOOARD YESSS! And dude you totally gunned down Victor Martinez. Psh maybe next time loser.
AJ. Was apparantly 4 for 5. I don't think I even noticed you were playing. Sorry.
Andy. Andy, Andy, Andy. No comment.
JUAN. YOU SUCK. I'M TIRED OF HAVING TO STICK UP FOR YOU. PLEASE GO AWAY AND NEVER COME BACK. THANKS. <3
Boone. Meh.
EHREN WASSERMANN. I LOVE YOU MORE AND MORE EVERY GAME.
Big Baaaaad Bobby Jenks. Congratz on tying the record a few weeks ago. Nice game today.
LOOOOOOVE,
E-TRAIN <3
Sorry, an eleven game losing streak can do that to ya.
So puhleeeeeeease tell me why we cannot play like this everyday?!
I mean seriously! I know you are all capable of playing as well as you did today! GAHHHH! That's why this season has been so frustrating. We're not bad because there is no talent. We're bad because there is no HEART on this team. /siiiiiigh
JOSE FUCKING CONTRERAS. HOLY MOTHER OF PEARL.
You officially won two starts in a ROW. Amazing.
6.2 IP, 4 Hits, 0 Runs, 5 Strikeouts!
Is this 2005 Jose we are seeing possibly?
Hmmm.
NEWB SOCIETY
JO Feasy. What a stud. 3 for 4 with 2RBI and 1 stolen base. Now THAT'S what I'm talking 'bout!
JF. Didn't play today. Got switched to LF though. It's ironic that with a name like Fields, Josh can't seem to field for shit. Hmmm.
Danny DLP. Looking better every day! 2 for 4 today. Atta boy.
THE REST
Thome. Gotta hold on to your bat, buddy! You almost decapitated the ump today. Trying to pull a Mike Redmond on him.
Paulie. Not bad.
Erstie. YOU CAN PUT IT ON THE BOOOARD YESSS! And dude you totally gunned down Victor Martinez. Psh maybe next time loser.
AJ. Was apparantly 4 for 5. I don't think I even noticed you were playing. Sorry.
Andy. Andy, Andy, Andy. No comment.
JUAN. YOU SUCK. I'M TIRED OF HAVING TO STICK UP FOR YOU. PLEASE GO AWAY AND NEVER COME BACK. THANKS. <3
Boone. Meh.
EHREN WASSERMANN. I LOVE YOU MORE AND MORE EVERY GAME.
Big Baaaaad Bobby Jenks. Congratz on tying the record a few weeks ago. Nice game today.
LOOOOOOVE,
E-TRAIN <3
Saturday, August 18, 2007
Friday, August 17, 2007
Thursday, August 16, 2007
Dear CWS,
Long time no talk. Probably cause we're losing to the A's right now, YET AGAIN.
It doesn't help that Oakland fans are the most annoying fans on the face of this earth. They boo EVERY SINGLE STRIKE CALLED AGAINST AN A'S PLAYER! WTF! Strikes happen losers! Now they are booing because Danny Richar stole a base and they thought he was out. OH MY GOD SHUT UP! Surprisingly enough these fans are not even the most annoying (that I have experienced). The list goes:
1. Cubs fans- the Cubs are a fratboy-adored, perpetually losing, injury-ignoring, pre-school blue, ticket scalping franchise reveals. Their "fans" go to the games to get drunk. They admire the Wrigley ivy more than their own team. "There's always next year." Cubs fans think that they are all that this season. The only reason they are 2nd place in their division is because the NL Central is WEAK. A 61-59 record is BARELY enough for THIRD PLACE in the AL Central. Sure, the Cubs can beat teams like the Nationals and the Reds, but they don't come even close to AL powerhouses like the Red Sox (72-48), Yankees (67-53), Tigers (66-54), Indians (66-54), Angels (69-49), and Mariners (66-52). Even the top NL teams could kill the Cubs, Mets (67-52), Braves (64-56), D-backs (68-53), and Padres (64-55). Contrary to popular belief, the Cubs are not the most popular team in Chicago, they are the most favorite team of every yokel from Iowa and Southern Illinois who moves to Chicago after dropping out of Junior College.
2. Yankees fans- Where to begin? They only cheer for the Yankees because the team has a history of decent teams. There are "fans" all over the country. People who don't watch baseball are Yankees "fans". Because apparantly wearing a red and gold Yankees hat makes you cool. WTF. Yankees "fans" are CONSTANTLY reminding everyone on the face of this earth how many times their team won the World Series. They cheer when the hear that the team signed Roger Clemens and then boo him when he has one bad inning, seeminglt forgeting that he will be pitching five days later. And hey, Clemens never said anything about how good he would be seeing as he is like fifty years old. He just agreed to making a shit load of money. Not his fault. Instead of cheering their players on, Yankees fans boo every chance they get. Just because you spend a lot of money on Derek Jeter and Alex Rodriguez don't mean they're gonna be perfect. Lame.
3. Athletics fans- They boo everything. THERE THEY ARE! BOOING AGAIN! I KID YOU NOT! Ball gets away from the catcher, Darin Erstad runs to third and is called safe and they BOO. He was SAFE. STFU already. I don't hear them cheer when Haren gets a K to end the inning. But they BOO AT EVERYTHING. Strike on Nick Swisher BOO. Strike on Travis Buck BOO. Danny Richar is safe stealing second BOO. AJ is obviously safe sliding on a double BOOOOOOO. Bat boy drops a bat BOO! The hot dog guy doesn't have anymore ketchup BOOOOOOOOOO! God. I hate them.
Boone.Logan.
LOVE,
E-TRAIN
It doesn't help that Oakland fans are the most annoying fans on the face of this earth. They boo EVERY SINGLE STRIKE CALLED AGAINST AN A'S PLAYER! WTF! Strikes happen losers! Now they are booing because Danny Richar stole a base and they thought he was out. OH MY GOD SHUT UP! Surprisingly enough these fans are not even the most annoying (that I have experienced). The list goes:
1. Cubs fans- the Cubs are a fratboy-adored, perpetually losing, injury-ignoring, pre-school blue, ticket scalping franchise reveals. Their "fans" go to the games to get drunk. They admire the Wrigley ivy more than their own team. "There's always next year." Cubs fans think that they are all that this season. The only reason they are 2nd place in their division is because the NL Central is WEAK. A 61-59 record is BARELY enough for THIRD PLACE in the AL Central. Sure, the Cubs can beat teams like the Nationals and the Reds, but they don't come even close to AL powerhouses like the Red Sox (72-48), Yankees (67-53), Tigers (66-54), Indians (66-54), Angels (69-49), and Mariners (66-52). Even the top NL teams could kill the Cubs, Mets (67-52), Braves (64-56), D-backs (68-53), and Padres (64-55). Contrary to popular belief, the Cubs are not the most popular team in Chicago, they are the most favorite team of every yokel from Iowa and Southern Illinois who moves to Chicago after dropping out of Junior College.
2. Yankees fans- Where to begin? They only cheer for the Yankees because the team has a history of decent teams. There are "fans" all over the country. People who don't watch baseball are Yankees "fans". Because apparantly wearing a red and gold Yankees hat makes you cool. WTF. Yankees "fans" are CONSTANTLY reminding everyone on the face of this earth how many times their team won the World Series. They cheer when the hear that the team signed Roger Clemens and then boo him when he has one bad inning, seeminglt forgeting that he will be pitching five days later. And hey, Clemens never said anything about how good he would be seeing as he is like fifty years old. He just agreed to making a shit load of money. Not his fault. Instead of cheering their players on, Yankees fans boo every chance they get. Just because you spend a lot of money on Derek Jeter and Alex Rodriguez don't mean they're gonna be perfect. Lame.
3. Athletics fans- They boo everything. THERE THEY ARE! BOOING AGAIN! I KID YOU NOT! Ball gets away from the catcher, Darin Erstad runs to third and is called safe and they BOO. He was SAFE. STFU already. I don't hear them cheer when Haren gets a K to end the inning. But they BOO AT EVERYTHING. Strike on Nick Swisher BOO. Strike on Travis Buck BOO. Danny Richar is safe stealing second BOO. AJ is obviously safe sliding on a double BOOOOOOO. Bat boy drops a bat BOO! The hot dog guy doesn't have anymore ketchup BOOOOOOOOOO! God. I hate them.
Boone.Logan.
LOVE,
E-TRAIN
Monday, August 13, 2007
Friday, August 10, 2007
Dear CWS,
Josh 'Sex Cannon' Fields, Baby Boy, you are sooo fucking sexy.
I'd totally hit that.
Two HRs.
Some amazing defensive plays.
Juan had some great plays too.
Podzilla, WTF is up. Are you on the Cubs or no?
LOVE,
E-Train
I'd totally hit that.
Two HRs.
Some amazing defensive plays.
Juan had some great plays too.
Podzilla, WTF is up. Are you on the Cubs or no?
LOVE,
E-Train
Thursday, August 9, 2007
Dear CWS,
Dude. Aaron Laffey looks like a sixth grader. Let's try to get some hits off of him. He's like Ehren Wasserman Jr. AS WE SPEAK AJ FREAKING PIERZYSNKI HITS A SOLO HOMERUN! Now that's what I call fast service.
AJ likes to party. :)
With Paul Konerko.
HAHAHA.
Those pics are priceless.
Quick facts:
Jerry Owens was a wide reciever at UCLA.
And Josh Fields was a quarterback at OSU.
I have a strong urge to call him The Sex Cannon now.
Good bye, Laffey! GTFO.
Also, DJ better watch his back. Stone Pony called that Juan Uribe walkoff HR. He knows a lot about baseball. I feel bad saying this because you know how I love Hawk & DJ, but Hawk & Stoney doesn't sound half bad to me. :)
What the hell, Lewis looks like he is twelve years old too! Battle of the e-school kids.
Anyway.
Juan Uribe. Homerun. Jazz hands. Fireworks. Mob @ home plate. Ozzie smile. More mob. Fans. Run to Dugout. Hug Ozzie. Pat on back. Scotty Pods. Cintro and Uribe. DLP!!!! Replau of jazz hands.
Juan Uribe has the cutest accent ever. Josh Mora just keeps nodding like he knows what Juan is saying. LOL.
Goddamn, Danny Richar is such a smart kid. I adore him.
RUNNERS AT THE CORNERS. NOBODY OUT. HE GONE. HE GONE. HE GONE. Atta boy CUZZIN BUCKY.
Meh. I'm done for now.
Love,
E-TRAIN
AJ likes to party. :)
With Paul Konerko.
HAHAHA.
Those pics are priceless.
Quick facts:
Jerry Owens was a wide reciever at UCLA.
And Josh Fields was a quarterback at OSU.
I have a strong urge to call him The Sex Cannon now.
Good bye, Laffey! GTFO.
Also, DJ better watch his back. Stone Pony called that Juan Uribe walkoff HR. He knows a lot about baseball. I feel bad saying this because you know how I love Hawk & DJ, but Hawk & Stoney doesn't sound half bad to me. :)
What the hell, Lewis looks like he is twelve years old too! Battle of the e-school kids.
Anyway.
Juan Uribe. Homerun. Jazz hands. Fireworks. Mob @ home plate. Ozzie smile. More mob. Fans. Run to Dugout. Hug Ozzie. Pat on back. Scotty Pods. Cintro and Uribe. DLP!!!! Replau of jazz hands.
Juan Uribe has the cutest accent ever. Josh Mora just keeps nodding like he knows what Juan is saying. LOL.
Goddamn, Danny Richar is such a smart kid. I adore him.
RUNNERS AT THE CORNERS. NOBODY OUT. HE GONE. HE GONE. HE GONE. Atta boy CUZZIN BUCKY.
Meh. I'm done for now.
Love,
E-TRAIN
Dear CWS,
Well. Paul Konerko did hit into a double play. But other than that!
Plus sides:
AJ PIERZYNSKI. DUDE, YOU SHOULD GET HR's MOST OFTEN.
Jerry Owens. Two stolen bases in the same inning, thank you very much.
Mikey freaking McDougal and Jose freaking Contreras pitched four amazing innings!
JUAN URIBE WALK OFF HR!
Which meaaaans- mobs at home plate, hugs, high fives, DLP(!), and PIES TO FACE BY JERMAINE DYE! <3
Also, Juan my main man, I have absolutely no idea what you are saying. But you talk funny. :)
All in all. NOT A BAD GAME.
Love,
E-TRAIN
Plus sides:
AJ PIERZYNSKI. DUDE, YOU SHOULD GET HR's MOST OFTEN.
Jerry Owens. Two stolen bases in the same inning, thank you very much.
Mikey freaking McDougal and Jose freaking Contreras pitched four amazing innings!
JUAN URIBE WALK OFF HR!
Which meaaaans- mobs at home plate, hugs, high fives, DLP(!), and PIES TO FACE BY JERMAINE DYE! <3
Also, Juan my main man, I have absolutely no idea what you are saying. But you talk funny. :)
All in all. NOT A BAD GAME.
Love,
E-TRAIN
Wednesday, August 8, 2007
Dear CWS,
Bad first game vs Cleveland.
Darin Erstad= Sir Whiffs A Lot. I said that and my dad's like "OMG, YOU SHOULD BLOG THAT!"
Here ya go, Papa.
EXTRA INNINGS in this one.
Atta boy, JD MVP.
AJ. For god's fucking sake. DO NOT. I repeat. DO FUCKING NOT INTO ANY MORE DOUBLE PLAYS.
K thanks.
Love,
E-TRAIN
Darin Erstad= Sir Whiffs A Lot. I said that and my dad's like "OMG, YOU SHOULD BLOG THAT!"
Here ya go, Papa.
EXTRA INNINGS in this one.
Atta boy, JD MVP.
AJ. For god's fucking sake. DO NOT. I repeat. DO FUCKING NOT INTO ANY MORE DOUBLE PLAYS.
K thanks.
Love,
E-TRAIN
Sunday, August 5, 2007
Dear CWS,
Little bit of a rain delay, but looks like it's gonna be a good day for a game.
FIRST INNING:
Gavin Floyd. Not bad so far. I like to see you getting after those pitchers. Getting ahead in the count is good.
SECOND INNING:
AJ! Nice hit! Josh, baby boy, don't worry about the error. WOAH, double to score AJ!!! 1-0! Nice baserunning. Wait. Nevermind. Way to get doubled off.
Man, we suck at holding baserunners. I don't think I've seen AJ throw out a runner all season. Possibly forever. HE GONE! Two innings finished, no runs, atta boy Big Game Gavin.
THIRD INNING:
Okay, Juan. I'm serious now. Get a fucking hit. Danny! Hey, cutie. Ohhhhh juuuuust foul. Dayum, you kilt that one. OWOW! Triple, baby! Damn you a fiiiiine boy. C'mon Jerry. Ball four, atta boy! ERSTIE! Long time, no see! Dude what the fuck @ inviting the whole team to the mound for a meeting. We usually do pitcher, catcher & Coop Daddy. And sometimes Uribe. Because he gets pushy. Ball four. Sacks packed with Sox for Jim Thome. JIM! >:- Uggghhhh double play AGAIN. Who do you think you are, AJ Pierfuckingzynski? Grrrr. Somedays.
GAVIN! Let's go! Sean Casey, next time don't fucking lean into the pitch if you don't want to get fucked up, you little bitch. HE GONE! Grab some bench, Magz. Next inning, ZING!
FOURTH INNING:
Paulie. Gr. AJ. Gr. Joshua. Ouch, don't hit my baby boy! Podsie. Gr.
Danny boy! I love you. Sweet double play. Hawk & DJ were talking about shortening that throw of yours and you certainly did that.
FIFTH INNING:
Juan, baby! Boo. Richar. Ball four. Owens! Fuck, YEAH!!! Double scoring Richar 2-0! Danny and Jerry are like back to back leadoff men. And then we got Erstie who is ALSO a good leadoff man. RIPPED IT! Another double, 3-0! Thome. Free pass. Paulie. Double play. My fucking god. We hit into more double plays than the rest of the AL Central combined. >:-
Tony Stewart? 13th place? Meh, there's still what? 180 laps left?
Let's go, GAV! Woo, good boy.
SIXTH INNING:
Lunch break!
SEVENTH INNING:
Nicely done, Mr. Floyd. 0 runs in 6 innings pitched. I'll take it. Big Game Gavin. CUZZIN BUCKYYYY! Woo! Hessman HE GONE and Inge HE also GONE! Southpaw Boone Logan. Dayum, Paulie. You are awesome. Nice play.
EIGHTH INNING:
Seriously. What's up with all the double plays?
Also. What the shit does Nintendo mean? Hawk won't stop saying it. "This kid is Nintendo". "That was a Nintendo HR". Speaking of homeruns, thanks McD for giving one up to Magz. Sweet.
NINTH INNING:
BIG BAAAD BOBBY JEEEENNNKKKSSSS. You make me so nervous because you sweat too much. AND THIS BALL GAME IS OVAAA!
Good game boys.
Love,
E-TRAIN
FIRST INNING:
Gavin Floyd. Not bad so far. I like to see you getting after those pitchers. Getting ahead in the count is good.
SECOND INNING:
AJ! Nice hit! Josh, baby boy, don't worry about the error. WOAH, double to score AJ!!! 1-0! Nice baserunning. Wait. Nevermind. Way to get doubled off.
Man, we suck at holding baserunners. I don't think I've seen AJ throw out a runner all season. Possibly forever. HE GONE! Two innings finished, no runs, atta boy Big Game Gavin.
THIRD INNING:
Okay, Juan. I'm serious now. Get a fucking hit. Danny! Hey, cutie. Ohhhhh juuuuust foul. Dayum, you kilt that one. OWOW! Triple, baby! Damn you a fiiiiine boy. C'mon Jerry. Ball four, atta boy! ERSTIE! Long time, no see! Dude what the fuck @ inviting the whole team to the mound for a meeting. We usually do pitcher, catcher & Coop Daddy. And sometimes Uribe. Because he gets pushy. Ball four. Sacks packed with Sox for Jim Thome. JIM! >:- Uggghhhh double play AGAIN. Who do you think you are, AJ Pierfuckingzynski? Grrrr. Somedays.
GAVIN! Let's go! Sean Casey, next time don't fucking lean into the pitch if you don't want to get fucked up, you little bitch. HE GONE! Grab some bench, Magz. Next inning, ZING!
FOURTH INNING:
Paulie. Gr. AJ. Gr. Joshua. Ouch, don't hit my baby boy! Podsie. Gr.
Danny boy! I love you. Sweet double play. Hawk & DJ were talking about shortening that throw of yours and you certainly did that.
FIFTH INNING:
Juan, baby! Boo. Richar. Ball four. Owens! Fuck, YEAH!!! Double scoring Richar 2-0! Danny and Jerry are like back to back leadoff men. And then we got Erstie who is ALSO a good leadoff man. RIPPED IT! Another double, 3-0! Thome. Free pass. Paulie. Double play. My fucking god. We hit into more double plays than the rest of the AL Central combined. >:-
Tony Stewart? 13th place? Meh, there's still what? 180 laps left?
Let's go, GAV! Woo, good boy.
SIXTH INNING:
Lunch break!
SEVENTH INNING:
Nicely done, Mr. Floyd. 0 runs in 6 innings pitched. I'll take it. Big Game Gavin. CUZZIN BUCKYYYY! Woo! Hessman HE GONE and Inge HE also GONE! Southpaw Boone Logan. Dayum, Paulie. You are awesome. Nice play.
EIGHTH INNING:
Seriously. What's up with all the double plays?
Also. What the shit does Nintendo mean? Hawk won't stop saying it. "This kid is Nintendo". "That was a Nintendo HR". Speaking of homeruns, thanks McD for giving one up to Magz. Sweet.
NINTH INNING:
BIG BAAAD BOBBY JEEEENNNKKKSSSS. You make me so nervous because you sweat too much. AND THIS BALL GAME IS OVAAA!
Good game boys.
Love,
E-TRAIN
Saturday, August 4, 2007
Dear MLB,
Barry Bonds: Shut up. You cheated. You disrespected Hank Aaron & the game of baseball. I just hope that some day Alex Rodriguez (no matter who arrogant he is) breaks your damn record.
Bud Selig: Thanks for not applauding Barry Bonds.
Alex Rodriguez: Congratz on the 500th HR.
Prince Fielder: Way to beat the Phillies. Nice HR. Brew Crew all the way, baby.
Cubs: Go away.
*E-TRAIN
Bud Selig: Thanks for not applauding Barry Bonds.
Alex Rodriguez: Congratz on the 500th HR.
Prince Fielder: Way to beat the Phillies. Nice HR. Brew Crew all the way, baby.
Cubs: Go away.
*E-TRAIN
Dear CWS,
Wah, c'mon Bobby. You're big, you're bad, and that's the first out.
This bitch Monroe ain't got nothing on you, Jenks.
Nice catch, Jer Bear.
Brandon Inge is a fucking loser, plz kill him.
I wanna see 98 mph, Bobby.
No walks, babe.
Go get him.
Juuuuuust got a piece of it.
You got this, one more out.
YEAH BABYYYYYYYY!
Oh man. It fucking Mike McDougal didn't suck so much, I wouldn't have been so uptight about this ninth inning!!!
Jerry Owens: I like you.
Joshua Fields: You are my baby boy.
JIIIIIIIM THOOOOME: "Magz doesn't even move YOU CANNN PUT IT ON THE BOOOOARRRD YEEESSSS!" HR numero 490.
Paulie "Soft Hands" Konerko: You're cool with me.
AJ: Way to get your first HR since fucking May 20th. Which happened to be a grandslam verses Neal fucking Cotts, man. :)
Jamayne Die: Keeps the socks, bitch.
Podzilla: You got one sweet hit that Dye almost died (no pun intended) trying to score on!
Juan, baby: Plz get a hit sometime soon, k thanx.
Danny Richar: Domincan Love Posse strikes again! Nice backwards-ish catch and double play flip.
HAV-E-AIR VAZ-KEZ: Not bad, son. Not bad. Awesome pickups on those bunts.
Mikey McD: >:- You get the mad face because you suck. Plz go back to Triple A with your boyfriend Aardsma.
Matty "ROBO COP" Thornton: Not too bad, sir.
Ehren "Baby Bucky" Wasserman: No need for a comment. :)
Big BAAAAD Bobby Jenks: seyz "BITCH GO SIT DOWN"
High fives, DLP, more high fives.
PotG & HUGGGGG
Love,
E-TRAIN
This bitch Monroe ain't got nothing on you, Jenks.
Nice catch, Jer Bear.
Brandon Inge is a fucking loser, plz kill him.
I wanna see 98 mph, Bobby.
No walks, babe.
Go get him.
Juuuuuust got a piece of it.
You got this, one more out.
YEAH BABYYYYYYYY!
Oh man. It fucking Mike McDougal didn't suck so much, I wouldn't have been so uptight about this ninth inning!!!
Jerry Owens: I like you.
Joshua Fields: You are my baby boy.
JIIIIIIIM THOOOOME: "Magz doesn't even move YOU CANNN PUT IT ON THE BOOOOARRRD YEEESSSS!" HR numero 490.
Paulie "Soft Hands" Konerko: You're cool with me.
AJ: Way to get your first HR since fucking May 20th. Which happened to be a grandslam verses Neal fucking Cotts, man. :)
Jamayne Die: Keeps the socks, bitch.
Podzilla: You got one sweet hit that Dye almost died (no pun intended) trying to score on!
Juan, baby: Plz get a hit sometime soon, k thanx.
Danny Richar: Domincan Love Posse strikes again! Nice backwards-ish catch and double play flip.
HAV-E-AIR VAZ-KEZ: Not bad, son. Not bad. Awesome pickups on those bunts.
Mikey McD: >:- You get the mad face because you suck. Plz go back to Triple A with your boyfriend Aardsma.
Matty "ROBO COP" Thornton: Not too bad, sir.
Ehren "Baby Bucky" Wasserman: No need for a comment. :)
Big BAAAAD Bobby Jenks: seyz "BITCH GO SIT DOWN"
High fives, DLP, more high fives.
PotG & HUGGGGG
Love,
E-TRAIN
Dear Team,
Hit into one more double play and I will end your lives.
You are looking like a team full of Joe Credes!
Love,
E-TRAIN
You are looking like a team full of Joe Credes!
Love,
E-TRAIN
Dear Jermaine Dye,
Did you steal Scotty Podzilla's high socks? You know what, even though I do not approve of criminal acts, I say keep 'em. They seem to be working.
Also, plz tell Hawk to stop saying homosexually insinuating things.
For example: "Danny Richar, man, he is fiiiiine lookin' young ball player."
& "Paul Konerko has some of the softest hands in the league."
Not that I mind FUCK... (nvm nice catch Jerry)...
As I was saying, I don't mind, but John Rocker thinks you are a boring homosexual.
Love,
E-TRAIN
Also, plz tell Hawk to stop saying homosexually insinuating things.
For example: "Danny Richar, man, he is fiiiiine lookin' young ball player."
& "Paul Konerko has some of the softest hands in the league."
Not that I mind FUCK... (nvm nice catch Jerry)...
As I was saying, I don't mind, but John Rocker thinks you are a boring homosexual.
Love,
E-TRAIN
Friday, August 3, 2007
Dear CWS,
Dude, you guys are fucking DOMINATING against the Tigers!Way to beat the first place team.
I bet all those people who've been calling Juan Uribe fat & useless are eating their words. Sure he has no neck, but daaaaaayum he can field & did you see that GRAND SLAM tonight. Yeah, baby.
Yep, that's my Dominican Love Posse right there. Danny Richar, you've been a decent replacement... so far. I still miss the Gooch. But as Hawk has said before "Richar is a fine lookin' young ball player". Oh yeah, he fiiiine.
Also, thanks JD & JF for some insurance home runs.
Marky Mark, not bad. Three runs, seven hits in eight innings of work. I'll take it. Better than Garfish, Contreras, or Danks could do.
Ehren Wasserman, my little elf boy, you still look like you're twelve but way to get your first save.
Second win in a row... NOW LET'S KICK SOME TIGER ASS!
Much Love,
E-TRAIN
P.S. I'm sorry but the Detroit Tigers have got to be the grossest team ever. Ivan Rodriguez, Magglio Ordonez, BRANDON INGE?! Seriously gag me with a spoon. Lame.
I bet all those people who've been calling Juan Uribe fat & useless are eating their words. Sure he has no neck, but daaaaaayum he can field & did you see that GRAND SLAM tonight. Yeah, baby.
Yep, that's my Dominican Love Posse right there. Danny Richar, you've been a decent replacement... so far. I still miss the Gooch. But as Hawk has said before "Richar is a fine lookin' young ball player". Oh yeah, he fiiiine.
Also, thanks JD & JF for some insurance home runs.
Marky Mark, not bad. Three runs, seven hits in eight innings of work. I'll take it. Better than Garfish, Contreras, or Danks could do.
Ehren Wasserman, my little elf boy, you still look like you're twelve but way to get your first save.
Second win in a row... NOW LET'S KICK SOME TIGER ASS!
Much Love,
E-TRAIN
P.S. I'm sorry but the Detroit Tigers have got to be the grossest team ever. Ivan Rodriguez, Magglio Ordonez, BRANDON INGE?! Seriously gag me with a spoon. Lame.
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