Dear CWS,

Yeah. That Twins series.
Pretty awesome.
You guys kill me.
Absolutely KILL ME.
Homerun by Uribe in the the 2nd.
Homerun by Cintron in the 7th.
Every single time Alex Cintron comes up to bat, I make some demeaning comment about him and then he hits a homerun. Maybe I should try this with everyone. Hm.
Top of the 9th. Minnesota decides to have a party with our pitchers and score SIX RUNS.
Bottom of the 9th. The boys decide to stop playing shit and score SOX RUNS. Right back at cha JUSTIN MORNEAU. Cintron, Richar, and Big Lead Louie (long time no see buddy, did you get fatter?) all got on base and Hot Wheels Fields let one rip for a double. Thome HR! 496! Sir Whiffs A Lot you surprise me so! Ground rule double scoring the Podzilla.
Decent pitching by six inning Javy.
Not terrible pitching by the 38 Year Old Virgin Mikey Myers.
Bitch ass pitching by Mikey McD and Boone Lagoon. Which somehow does not surprise me.
Good pitching by Lance Broadway who sounds like a porn star. And very well could be for all we know.
Nice pitching by Bobby Jenks.
Top of the 13th and Heath motherfucking looks like a mini Bobby Jenks Phillips picks off Nick Punto #2 (aka Michael Cuddyer). LMAO. Nicely played, rook.
So yeah I was getting pretty tired and then AJ decided to get me a hit scoring Louie The Terror Terrero in the bottom of the 13th.
I like how they were all jumping all over each other like they won the fucking World Series. AHAHA. And the DLP was giving each other piggyback rides which was hilarious.

Game number two.
Didn’t watch.
Bottom of the first back to back HRs by Jimmy (497!) and Paulie.
Nice hitting by Jer Bear.
WTF. Apparently Toby Triple Chin Hall got a homerun. Wow.
Matty got the save.
Nice.

GAME THREE.
Johan. Not much else to say.
Thome hit 498.
Josh Fields pulled an Aaron Rowand and got a face full of the outfield wall. And of course he was nowhere near the ball. Because he is Joshua Fields. “I HATE LEFT FIELD”.

TODAY.
HAHAHA.
#1. I never noticed but they play Austin Powers music when Mikey Myers comes out to pitch. Funny.
#2. Yay for throwing errors.
#3. AJ STOLE A BASE. LMFAO.
#4. Big Game Gavin pitched particularly well. 5 hits and 0 earned runs in 6.1 innings. Niiiiice.
#5. Game’s not over yet, but who really cares. Haha.

LOVE,
E-TRAIN