Dear CWS

Thanks for the birthday win yesterday! I was hoping for eighteen runs on my eighteenth birthday but twelve will do just fine. :)

Pretty Boy Floyd: Looked solid in your second outing! Much better than the first, that is for sure. I like to see you getting ahead in the count like that... keep it up.
Chris Getz & Brent Lillibridge: Great 1-2 punch right here between these guys! Lillibridge, you better watch out bcuz you just might be my new favorite until Sexy Alexei figures out how to get out of this sophomore slump of his. Plus Lillibridge, you're so tiny and look like a freshman and you know I have a thing for people who look way younger than they should. Hehee.

Big hitting by all the guys... and in a dome no less!

Thanks a lot for making my birthday a happy one and keep it up!!!


Love,
E-Train :D

Dear CWS,

Well hooooooly shit! That was probably one of the ugliest wins I have ever seen in my life. Thirteen hits and only three runs?! Really. Please, do not make this another 2008/2007/2006. Pitching was solid... except Bobby... and hits are good but YOU NEED TO HIT WHEN IT COUNTS AKA WHEN RUNNERS ARE ON THIRD BASE! I mean really?! How can one team seriously strand that make baserunners?! It's ridiculous! Fields had a great game. SEXY ALEXEI NEEDS TO MAKE BIG HIT SOMETIME SOON OKAY? You guys are getting hits, just not when it matters, and that really needs to change. Overall that was a terrible game and you ALL need to pick it up tomorrow.

LOVE,
E-trrrain

Dear Dewayne Wise,

Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuude. You beast. A HR away from hitting the cycle.

Love,
E-Train

Dear CWS,

Srsly. I’m fucking tired of this team. The offense is the most worthless group of motherfuckers I have ever fucking seen. Get a hit that counts for once!!!! SERIOUSLY. How many fucking batters were left on base… YET AGAIN?!!!!!!!! Just ridiculous. You guys GAVE this game to the Cubs. You put it on a silver platter and begged for them to take it. Jermaine/AJ- just because you guys got HRs in the second and third inning does not allow you to suck the rest of the fucking game. C’mon, how many leadoff hits/doubles were left on base bcuz the next three batters struck out? And don’t get me started on Dotel. Fucking losers. This bullpen sucks, this offense sucks, the starters are the only thing keeping the White Sox in the game Fire Ozzie, fire Kenny, dump all these old and terrible motherfuckers. Srsly. Just blow apart the team now and try to salvage some prospects bcuz nothing is gonna happen this year. The White Sox can’t hit. I don’t know what is different from 2005, why the Sox decided to suck after the World Series is beyond me. Blown opportunities, my friend, that’s what 2006/2007/2008/2009/…/2093. It’s gonna be a long time before another White Sox championship.

With the hatred of a thousand burning suns,
E-Train

P.S. And go fuck yourselves, Cubs fans. Wow, your team got fucking mowed down by Danks who is not even our number one pitcher. Wow, you sat down our offense who CONSISTENTLY leaves runners on base. This game was no different from any other ones that the Sox have lost. And yeah Dotel just blows. Not surprising. Aaaand Ozzie put Linebrink in during the 9th… a FLY BALL pitcher with the WIND BLOWING OUT. Great move, Skip. Overall I was severely not impressed by the Cubs, so stop pretending your team is all that.

P.P.S. White Sox. Plz prove me wrong.

Dear CWS,

Long time, no write! Sorry boys. It's just that this team... this team... THIS TEAM. You all are killing me, slowly and painfully. Seven game winning streak, five game losing streak, six game winning streak, three game losing streak. LET'S SEE SOME CONSISTENCY! Every single one of you is the same. The hitters are ridiculous for a four game stretch and then get shut out three days in a row. The pitchers are lights out one start and give up six runs the next. It's getting pretty frustrating. They way the White Sox need to win is the way with won in 2005... SMALL BALL! Not big homeruns. *cough* Not that Thome or Konerko can hit ANYTHING right now.

Seriously. Don't make me go batshit crazy on all of you.

LOVE,
E-Trainnn

Dear Gavin Floyd,

You, my friend, are ridiculous.

WHAT.A.BEAST.

Much love,
E-to the- Train

Dear CWS,

WEEEELLLLLLCCOOOOOOMMMMEEE BAAAACKKKK!

God, I missed you guys.

Marky Mark: WTF. Plz don't ever do that bad again kthanks.
Snack Times/Boone Lagoon: WOOOOHOOOO.
Dotel: BOOOOOO.
Thome/Konerko/Swisher/Crede/Zynsk/Dye: THANK FUCKING GOD YOU GUYS DECIDED TO NOT SUCK THIS SEASON (so far).
Cabrera: Way to be a fucking baller man, that was a bullshit call.
Casey Blake: Go fuck yourself.
Umpires: Go fuck Casey Blake.

Love,
E-Train <3